Your friendly neighborhood nerd girl
[multifandom blog? I post whatever]
The dilemma is that she’s in a dark place right now due to this past Tuesday being the fourth anniversary of our sister’s passing. We planned a small gathering tomorrow to remember her, but now she wants me come over tonight and stay.
It sucks because I feel like I’m putting my discomfort ahead of her mental health, but then again, I can’t continue to spend the night at a house when I can barely use the bathroom without shooing critters away. I have stayed before and I couldn’t sleep because I was terrified of bugs crawling on me. It’s beyond uncomfortable.
Also, to get there I have to catch two buses and walk two miles, with this rolling in over my head.
I don’t think it’s happening tonight….
Every morning I have to fight with myself to get out of bed
yeah its 4 am and i have nothing of value to show for my being awake this long so good night
Feeling overwhelmingly terrible today
Sometimes I look around at all the artists on tumblr, and I’m in awe of their works. It reminds me of how little I’ve produced recently. I haven’t written fan fic for half a year, I haven’t written any original fiction or poetry in a year and a half. I havent taken any drawings past doodle stage for at least 3 months.
i just dont have the passion I used to. I was cleaning and found a sketch and writing pad from high school thats filled to bursting, lacking skill but enthusiastic. I need to get out of my depressive funk and start doing stuff again.
Maybe I should look into going back on antidepressants…
Ok job, fuck your bullshit, I’m go read fic in the bathroom.
it’s ridiculously humid, my phone just died, no charger, only 8 hours to go until babysitting over.
my consolation is:
A) I get paaaaid
B) Coffee and internet
C) Babies will be sleeping within 3 hours